Why do our bodies start to slow down and ache, and our looks start to go, right when we are able to get a little bit of clarity with our thinking?
Why doesn't real life have theme songs?
An all time great theme song
Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like mouse and sparrow?
Why do dogs get to be our best friends, yet get such a short life span?
Why are humans so cruel to one another?
Another great theme song
Why are people more comfortable in believing in something they can't see than believing in something that they can?
Why, for that matter, don't TV shows even have good theme songs anymore?
Classic
Why does life keep getting more and more complicated?
Why is redistributing the wealth wrong?
3 comments:
Why are humans so cruel to one another?
Because we are broken. Whether or not it's human nature, it is aggressively and relentlessly exploited to perpetuate the dissatisfaction and unease underpinning a system that depends on ceaselessly-expanding consumption.
(Theme songs? Oh, mais oui. "My Favorite Martian", "Bewitched" and "Green Acres" come also to mind. Especially MFM, because Uncle Martin drove a '60 Valiant.)
Because it's all a part of God's plan, silly!!
Why do we spend so much of our life sleeping?
--'Cause that's when the aliens recharge our Thetans or something. Tom Cruise is my new BFF. He lets me call him "Sloppybottom McTakesitindabooty".
Why do our bodies start to slow down and ache, and our looks start to go, right when we are able to get a little bit of clarity with our thinking?
--Your looks aren't going anywhere, honey…
Why doesn't real life have theme songs?
--Wait, that music I keep hearing…I thought everyone heard that. Uh-oh…
Why doesn't cat food come in flavors like mouse and sparrow?
--Mouse is too gamey and sparrow's hard to swallow. Get it? Swallow? Like the bird, not the verb. Well, whichever you like, really. :D
Why do dogs get to be our best friends, yet get such a short life span?
--So we can have a bunch of best friends? :(
Why are humans so cruel to one another?
-- Jesus wouldn't have it any other way…
Why are people more comfortable in believing in something they can't see than believing in something that they can?
-- Because most Americans believe that we are descended from the inbred offspring of the first man God blew (Gen. 2:7) & his tranny clone.
Why, for that matter, don't TV shows even have good theme songs anymore?
-- I miss theme songs too. :(
Why does life keep getting more and more complicated?
-- Because we're all too dumb to do the fun things we really wanna do so we can go live in jail on Ultimate Welfare: Inmate Edition.
Why is redistributing the wealth wrong?
-- Because it turns out that sharing isn't caring, it's SOSHULLIZZIM!!!!
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